“In other news, reports spread out across the DC area earlier today when the Pentagon’s security systems were activated and the entire facility went into a hard lock-down.
Eye-witness reports from by-standards say that quite suddenly, at about 10:15 this early, Sunday morning, red emergency lights on the outside of the building clicked on along with a siren. However, after ten minutes the sirens and lights were both deactivated and business seemed to return to usual.
It is known that the president was in the building at the time, and sources informed us that the prime ministers of Great Britain and Israel were seen entering the building earlier that morning as well, but CNN has yet to confirm whether they were also present at the time of the alarms. Despite all the commotion caused by the alarms, Pentagon officials claim that it was merely a bomb-threat drill and assured us that responses were quick, and by-the-books—and that the entire drill was successfully completed in record time. No comment was made regarding the presence, absence, or condition of any heads of state."